


Fruits Basket Tales

by Ariyana



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Comedy, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Cross-Posted on Mediaminer, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Parody, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:32:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariyana/pseuds/Ariyana
Summary: Tohru and The Sohmas must deal with a series of Mary Sues. This was originally apart of a Mary Sue Parody RoundRobin done on a defunct site back in 2004/2005.





	1. The New Sohma

**Title:** Fruits Basket Tales  
 **Author:** Ariyana   
**Rating:** PG-13   
**Fandom:** Fruits Basket   
**Genre:** Parody/Humor   
**Pairing:** None  
 **Summary:** Yuki has to deal with a new transfer student.  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Fruits Basket, nor do I own any of the anime characters mentioned.   
  
**A/N:** I do not own any of the animes involved, nor am I the original creator of the Mary Sue featured. Also credit for Yuki's screen name goes Raberba Girl. ^_^ If you find that your Sue was lampooned here oh well it's your own fault for making me suffer through your stupidity.  
  
  
 ****

**A Fruits Basket Tale: The New Sohma  
By Ariyana**

  
  
It was a normal day around the Sohma house. Tohru had cooked a wonderful dinner and as usual Kyo picked a fight with Yuki only to lose. Yuki had had a long day. He still had some assignments to finish but he felt like rambling in his livejournal today. He logged on to his computer and signed in to his paid livejournal account as "princes_of_fools". He decided to check his friends list and see what they were ranting about today.   
  
The first post came from "the_real_kagome" posted in "the_animated_life" community, which read:   
  
**"I can't believe this crap as if life isn't hard enough already. Every few days someone uploads a stupid Mary Sue into our story and expects me to just disappear. This last one was an android! =_=; I am really getting sick of these Mary Sues they are like a disease trying to ruin my life."**  
  
Yuki read this with slight dismay. It was only a matter of time before the next Mary Sue would come after him again. He didn't want to remember the last time. He shook off the chills he had given himself and checked the replies to her post.  
  
"ranma_the_master" had responded first saying, **"i'll bet it's cos you're all uncute, like someone i know."** Yuki frowned at this. "ranma_the_master" was certainly the jerk of the community.  
  
In response to "ranma_the_master", "tendouakane" wrote, **"Ranma you jerk! No body asked your opinion! Leave Kagome alone!"** and "god_of_death" who also replied to "ranma_the_master" wrote, **"Kagome is plenty cute. Not that you could recognize cute."**  
  
In response to "god of death", "ranma_the_master" wrote, **"why don't you go play with your boyfriends?"** Yuki just shook his head. He knew that remark was going to cost "ranma_the_master" some points in the community, before Yuki could reply to Kagome's original post an AIM screen popped up.  
  
 **TheRealKagome:** Yuki-kun! *glomps*  
 **PrinceOfFools:** Hi Kagome-san, I just read your lj post.  
 **TheRealKagome:** T_T Stupid Mary Sues!  
 **PrinceOfFools:** So how did you get rid of this one?  
 **TheRealKagome** **:** I dismantled her before she could wreck havoc. I swear if I catch the person who is uploading these stupid Mary Sues, I'm going to kill them. >_< **  
PrinceOfFools:** I'm sure you can find lots of help for that cause. I'm lucky it has been a few days since the last Mary Sue sighting. **  
TheRealKagome:** Didn't the last one try to kill Tohru-chan or something?  
 **PrinceOfFools** : Don't remind me. =_= I have to go, I'll talk to you later.  
 **TheRealKagome** : Okay *hugs* Good night.  
 **PrinceOfFools** : Good night, Kagome-san.  
  
Yuki smiled as he signed off of AIM. He decided to skip the journal entry and opted to finish his homework. The dark cloud of the next Mary Sue hovered over his head. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but he was worried that the next one would manage to get him killed or worse get Tohru killed instead. That night his dreams consisted of Mary Sues chasing him down an endless corridor.   
  
The next day at school it was rather obvious that he hadn't had a good night's rest. He sat sleepily at his desk as the teacher walked in followed by a new student. Yuki was fully awake when he saw what looked like an American girl. "Oh no it can't be!" he thought desperately.   
  
"Class we have a new transferred student. She is from the United States. This is Trinity Sohma," Mayuko-sensei announced.  
  
A cold chill ran down Yuki's spine as he sweatdropped. "It is..." his thought trailed off. The girl giggled and smiled at the class. Yuki just sat in horror watching her. On the way to her desk she just happened to walk by an open window and like magic a breeze appeared and blew up her skirt. Yuki just slapped his forehead.  
  
"What did I do to deserve this?" he thought grimly. He was thankful when she seemed to take a liking to Kyo. The girl was definitely turning on all her Mary Sue charm. Yuki had become immune to the charms of Mary Sues every since the day his Fan club had come into being. If he could withstand those girls, there was no way a Mary Sue would charm him. The stupid cat on the other hand was becoming putty in her hands.   
  
Yuki had to roll his eyes when the girl called Kyo honey and the stupid cat actually blushed. Obviously Kyo had learned nothing from the last Mary Sue who had tried to kill Tohru.   
  
"Hey Prince, is that girl related to you?" Uotani asked in a hush tone.  
  
"Heavens no, we don't have family in the United States." Yuki answered. He knew he had to act quickly lest she try to worm her way into the family. The Mary Sue before the last claimed to be the 14th member of the Zodiac. Only the girl was so inept that when she "transformed" it was not truly a transformation. The girl would hold up a pink teddy bear and act like she had turned into the bear. Yuki rubbed his temples just thinking about the string of Mary sues he had to deal with in the past.  
  
"Hey honey what's your name?" Trinity asked Yuki. Yuki cringed at the sound of her voice. He thought the sound of nails on a chalkboard might have sounded better. Yuki smiled politely.  
  
"I'm Yuki Sohma, it's a pleasure to meet you Sohma-san." Yuki said trying to act normally. He wanted to run for his life and send up a SOS. Trinity frowned at Yuki's response. "Is something wrong, Sohma-san?" Yuki asked wishing he had back up.   
  
"No, nothing's wrong," she answered giggling like a mule. Seriously she was beginning to annoy him and he needed to get rid of her and fast.  
  
Yuki was walking to his Student council meeting when she cornered him. "Hello there Yuki-chan," she said smugly.  
  
"Sohma-san."  
  
"So it's true...I was warned about you," she said coldly.  
  
"I'm not sure I know what you are talking about."  
  
"You've been a constant wrench in our plans. You're too smart for you're own good. If you would just learn to accept us we could avoid all this unpleasantness," she said menacingly.  
  
Yuki wasn't sure how to handle this one. He scolded himself for acting so normal around her. She had expected him to dote and act a fool over her. She had him cornered now. He wasn't sure if he should attack her or not. Suddenly she hit the ground with a thud. Yuki looked up to see Kyo holding a book.  
  
"You damn rat, how do you expect to throw the Mary Sues off your trail if you act like you normally do around them?"  
  
Yuki was stunned Kyo had actually tricked the Mary Sue into thinking he was on her side. "What did you hit her with?"  
  
"A dictionary, I don't think her creator has ever used one of those before, I could barely understand the notes she passed to me."


	2. The Curse of the Canary and Tohru's Twin Sister!?!?!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A 14th Zodiac member shows up and Tohru has a twin sister!?!?!?

**Title:** Fruits Basket Tales  
 **Author:** Ariyana   
**Rating:** PG-13   
**Fandom:** Fruits Basket   
**Genre:** Parody/Humor   
**Pairing:** None  
  
 **Summary:** Kyo's truimph over Trinity is short-lived as he has to deal with not one but two new girls living under Shigure's roof.  
  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the animes involved, nor am I the original creator of the Mary Sues featured.   
  


**A Fruits Basket Tale 2:  
The Curse of the Canary and Tohru's Twin Sister?!?!   
by Ariyana**

  
  
Kyo was in a particularly good mood as he walked home alone. He had finally beaten the rat at something. The expression on the rat's face as the Mary Sue went down by dictionary was priceless. Kyo was still gloating over his small victory as he walked up to the house. The first thing he noticed was that Hatori's car was parked just a short distance away.  
  
"Oh great what the hell is Hatori doing here?" he asked himself annoyed. Kyo felt his good mood drain away as he entered the house. Immediately he was greeted with a loud booming voice.  
  
"Kyo~o!" Momiji shouted happily.  
  
"What are you doing here? Don't I see enough of you at school already?!" Kyo snapped angrily.  
  
"Kyo don't you remember, Tomoya is going to be living here. I wanted to say hi to her." Momiji said innocently.  
  
"Tomoya? Who the.." before Kyo could finish his question a girl with red hair and mismatched eyes came into the hallway.  
  
"Kyo~o!" the unknown girl said excitedly as she ran and hugged him. To his horror nothing happened.   
  
"Oh crap!" Kyo thought instantly. "This is not happening again!"  
  
"Kyo-kun are you coming to join us for tea? I just made some," she asked pulling Kyo into the living room. Hatori and Shigure were having a normal conversation as Momiji and Tomoya sat down and started having a lively conversation. Kyo wasn't sure how to react to this one. He knew he should play along before the girl wised up to him but he was so shocked by her.   
  
"So when do I get to meet Honda-san?" Tomoya asked excitedly.  
  
Kyo instantly narrowed his eyes at her. What was she planning for Tohru? He already didn't like this girl. Not only was she textbook Mary Sue but she acted like Momiji.  
  
"Tohru-kun is working tonight but you should be able to meet her later tonight." Shigure announced happily.  
  
Kyo looked at Shigure with great contempt what the hell was wrong with these people. Did they forget about the girl who turned up, called herself a member of the zodiac and then promptly tried to kill Tohru?  
  


\--------------------------

  
  
The days that followed were the worst for Kyo and Yuki as not only had Tomoya, the apparent canary of the zodiac curse made herself at home but Tohru's "twin sister", Alex also appeared. She looked and acted pretty much like Tohru minus the klutz attacks and well for some reason she could hug the zodiac guys without anyone transforming. Alex also had more sparkling eyes and shinier hair than Tohru. Tomoya and Alex were instantly the best of friends. Between the two of them they had effectively taken over the house. They traded off cooking and cleaning. Tohru didn't seem to mind the girls at all.   
  
Anytime Yuki or Kyo tried to speak to Tohru, Alex or Tomoya or both girls would interrupt and take over the conversation. At school Tomoya and Alex were instantly the most popular girls in school. It just never ended. Kyo had to wonder if he and the Rat were the only ones who noticed Mary Sues. Kyo found himself in the foulest of moods as he approached home by himself. He dreaded the idea of going home especially since Alex and Tomoya just seem to appear at home without the effort of walking. He was lost in deep thoughts of how to rid himself of these horrid Mary Sues.  
  
"Kyo-kun!" a familiar voice rung out interrupting Kyo's thoughts. He turned to see Kagura just before she glomped him. "I'm so glad you're okay. That Tomoya girl and that Alex girl haven't been trying to come on to you have they?" Kagura asked jealousy flaming in her eyes.  
  
Kyo could have kissed Kagura right then and there. He grumbled slightly to cover his inward smile as he answered. "Yeah they have. Alex even tried to get into my room last night." Kyo lied. Alex had shown more interest in Yuki than in him and well Tomoya only had eyes for Momiji and Hatsuharu but what Kagura didn't know wouldn't hurt him.  
  
"I'll kill them!" Kagura said enraged as she took off toward the house. Kyo just stood and watched as the smile grew on his face. The next thing he heard was music to his ears. The screams of two girls came ringing out of the house as Tohru walked up beside him.  
  
"I guess I owe Kagura-chan a big dinner after all." Tohru said lightly.  
  
"What?" Kyo asked confused.  
  
"I hope you don't mind that I told Kagura that she had two new rivals." Tohru said smiling.  
  
Kyo facefaulted as he heard Tohru's words.  
  
"But you have been acting so unaffected around them...." Kyo trailed off as he saw the smile that Tohru gave him.  
  
"My mother raised me to be kind and generous but she didn't raise me to be a fool. I'm not sharing with any Mary Sue." Tohru said simply as she walked toward the house satisfied with her actions. Kyo stood in shock. "Did Tohru just outsmart two Mary Sues?"


End file.
